Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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