Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
