i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
