Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Found the puke drawer
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i now understand why vodka
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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