Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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