I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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