Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
