Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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