Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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