You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
