yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
