dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize