You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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