I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
