the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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