Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
