I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
