In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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