Sponge bath it is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
