32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
