i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
