I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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