Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
