Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This toilet bowl is my home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
