Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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