You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
