i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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