Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize