May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize