Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
