dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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