Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
