Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
