; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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