Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need a beard to bite.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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