Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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