i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
