Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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