i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
