either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
