at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
