what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
