No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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