how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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