You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
