But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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