Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
