If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im holly from the hills drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
