that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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