One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
