What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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