I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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