I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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