And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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