Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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