What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
