They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
