I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
