i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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