Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
