no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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