1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize