I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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