Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
