he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
