I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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